It's National Right to Dry Day!! Celebrate by hanging some clothes on the line!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Sometimes It Hurts To Be A Mom
When I brought my beautiful daughters home from the hospital I was so full of love, hope and joy. I looked at that little child in my arms and dreamed of what their future would be. My children are God's children first and He has entrusted them to me as their steward while they are here on this earth. I read His manual for how to parent, I prayed for them, and loved on them. I am so blessed that both of my girls have accepted the Lord. Missy, being my quiet one, came to know Jesus in her own private way. I had the privilege of praying with Stephany when she accepted the Lord at 5 years of age. When Stephany was 9 she made the decision to be baptized. This is the little girl that would come home from school so excited that she had prayed with someone on the playground at school and witnessed to them of the Lord.
I always thought that because my girls know Jesus personally they would somehow be "protected" from the things of the world. I know that is absolutely not true and I have been humbled because some of those terrible things of the world have entered my home. This is horribly hard for me to write, and embarrassing, but I feel that I have to. My blog is a place of release for me and, I hope, a blessing for others. These are things that I need to write about so that maybe the pain will somehow leave my body and soul for a bit.
Stephany has been struggling with anxiety and depression since she was in the 7th grade. Some of that is the fault of both of her parents who have had a bad marriage. Some of it is the fault of a dad who loves his daughter but is not an involved parent. But her problems are not all the fault of me or her dad. Some are problems of her own choosing. I have a former friend who would tell me on a daily basis that I just needed to be harder on Stephany. That I needed to be a firmer disciplinarian. You don't know how hard I have tried - and on my own because her dad refuses to be involved in that area. I have grounded her, taken away the cell phone, restricted computer use, and any other thing that I could think of to remove as a form of punishment. I know that this former friend probably still reads my blog. I'm sure that she will delight in some small way that what she has "predicted" for my daughter has finally come true. She has a son who has always attended Christian school, is on fire for the Lord, and never gives her many problems. This is the reason that we are no longer friends - I just could not take listening to another minute of having my daughter and her son compared and me being told I'm not hard enough on my daughter. But I also remember that my pastor and his wife went through the very same thing with their daughter that I am going through, maybe some worse things, and I know that they were good parents.
But when you're walking through this hard time with your child you begin to doubt yourself. I have come to realize that I am a good parent. I have been praying and fighting for my daughter every day since she's been born. Now I just need to say the words although it's hurts me so much. Stephany has become involved with drugs. It started with marijuana and has now progressed to experimentation with cocaine and ecstasy. There have been other issues that go along with this - stealing money from her dad to buy drugs, sneaking out of the house at all hours, taking all of her Christmas and birthday money to buy drugs, lying, and on and on.
What could I have done to prevent this? Probably not much. I have done everything that I know how to do as a parent. Stephany has been in church since she was 5 days old and has been raised in a Christian home. She has never seen these things in our home and has always been told how bad they are. Her father is a recovering alcoholic - sober for 21 years - so we don't even have alcohol in our home. But the bent towards addiction is hereditary - that is a medical fact - and Stephany inherited that bent. It also runs on my side of the family. That, coupled with her anxiety and low self-esteem, have pushed her to try things to make her "feel" better.
My daughter is a beautiful girl inside and out. She is a child of God and He loves her more than I do. She is smart, funny, kind, and compassionate. Right now she is walking in a dark valley. But the bright side - Praise God - is that Stephany is willing to go to rehab and counseling. She wants to be better and wants to turn her life around. She knows that Jesus is the only answer. She tells me that she wants to be better but doesn't know how. That is why we are getting professional help for her. Next Thursday Stephany will be going into drug rehab. Right now we don't know if it will be outpatient or inpatient. She is willing to do either to get better. Stephany and I were moving to IL in June. For now, those plans have had to be put on hold. We are staying here so that she can get the help that she needs. When the professionals say that it is ok to go, then we will move. I know there might be set backs for Stephany. I know parents who go through this with their kids their whole lives. I am praying that is not that case.
We have a long road ahead of us - especially Stephany. My comfort is that I know that Jesus is walking with us and holding our hands. If I wasn't sure of that I don't know if I could walk much further. Please keep Stephany in your prayers. I need them too. We will be able to feel them and will draw strength from them. I know that God has great things in store for Stephany. God will use this time in our lives as a testimony to His glory. God is good and He is so faithful. I was listening to a song on the radio yesterday - "I Will Praise You in this Storm". I am praising God in this storm. I know that the sun will be peaking through the clouds again. I am hanging onto that hope.
I always thought that because my girls know Jesus personally they would somehow be "protected" from the things of the world. I know that is absolutely not true and I have been humbled because some of those terrible things of the world have entered my home. This is horribly hard for me to write, and embarrassing, but I feel that I have to. My blog is a place of release for me and, I hope, a blessing for others. These are things that I need to write about so that maybe the pain will somehow leave my body and soul for a bit.
Stephany has been struggling with anxiety and depression since she was in the 7th grade. Some of that is the fault of both of her parents who have had a bad marriage. Some of it is the fault of a dad who loves his daughter but is not an involved parent. But her problems are not all the fault of me or her dad. Some are problems of her own choosing. I have a former friend who would tell me on a daily basis that I just needed to be harder on Stephany. That I needed to be a firmer disciplinarian. You don't know how hard I have tried - and on my own because her dad refuses to be involved in that area. I have grounded her, taken away the cell phone, restricted computer use, and any other thing that I could think of to remove as a form of punishment. I know that this former friend probably still reads my blog. I'm sure that she will delight in some small way that what she has "predicted" for my daughter has finally come true. She has a son who has always attended Christian school, is on fire for the Lord, and never gives her many problems. This is the reason that we are no longer friends - I just could not take listening to another minute of having my daughter and her son compared and me being told I'm not hard enough on my daughter. But I also remember that my pastor and his wife went through the very same thing with their daughter that I am going through, maybe some worse things, and I know that they were good parents.
But when you're walking through this hard time with your child you begin to doubt yourself. I have come to realize that I am a good parent. I have been praying and fighting for my daughter every day since she's been born. Now I just need to say the words although it's hurts me so much. Stephany has become involved with drugs. It started with marijuana and has now progressed to experimentation with cocaine and ecstasy. There have been other issues that go along with this - stealing money from her dad to buy drugs, sneaking out of the house at all hours, taking all of her Christmas and birthday money to buy drugs, lying, and on and on.
What could I have done to prevent this? Probably not much. I have done everything that I know how to do as a parent. Stephany has been in church since she was 5 days old and has been raised in a Christian home. She has never seen these things in our home and has always been told how bad they are. Her father is a recovering alcoholic - sober for 21 years - so we don't even have alcohol in our home. But the bent towards addiction is hereditary - that is a medical fact - and Stephany inherited that bent. It also runs on my side of the family. That, coupled with her anxiety and low self-esteem, have pushed her to try things to make her "feel" better.
My daughter is a beautiful girl inside and out. She is a child of God and He loves her more than I do. She is smart, funny, kind, and compassionate. Right now she is walking in a dark valley. But the bright side - Praise God - is that Stephany is willing to go to rehab and counseling. She wants to be better and wants to turn her life around. She knows that Jesus is the only answer. She tells me that she wants to be better but doesn't know how. That is why we are getting professional help for her. Next Thursday Stephany will be going into drug rehab. Right now we don't know if it will be outpatient or inpatient. She is willing to do either to get better. Stephany and I were moving to IL in June. For now, those plans have had to be put on hold. We are staying here so that she can get the help that she needs. When the professionals say that it is ok to go, then we will move. I know there might be set backs for Stephany. I know parents who go through this with their kids their whole lives. I am praying that is not that case.
We have a long road ahead of us - especially Stephany. My comfort is that I know that Jesus is walking with us and holding our hands. If I wasn't sure of that I don't know if I could walk much further. Please keep Stephany in your prayers. I need them too. We will be able to feel them and will draw strength from them. I know that God has great things in store for Stephany. God will use this time in our lives as a testimony to His glory. God is good and He is so faithful. I was listening to a song on the radio yesterday - "I Will Praise You in this Storm". I am praising God in this storm. I know that the sun will be peaking through the clouds again. I am hanging onto that hope.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
It's A Girl!
I went with Missy last Monday for her 20 week ultrasound. The baby is perfect, healthy and a girl! We are all so excited. I'm not sure what the name will be as they have a couple picked out. Emma is one choice (which I love) or Amelia. Now I can start sewing girly things and making tutus. Our little sweetheart will arrive sometime in the middle of August.
I've been sick in bed for the past week with a horrible sore throat and just feeling rotten. I finally had enough and went to the doctor today. I have tonsillitis! I've never had that in my life. I did get some antibiotics so hopefully will be feeling much better in the next couple of days.
Spring is really here and also the on again, off again showers. We had a couple of gorgeous sunny days last week - love the sun!
I'm having a garage sale the middle of April so I need to get busy marking things. I have lots of books, magazines, fabric, craft items, vintage dishes, and some vintage furniture pieces that I purchased to refinish. I never got around to them so someone else can take them home for a redo! I'm also selling lots of kitchen items including a vintage blender and a food processor. Hopefully our Illinois Fund will increase in size by the time it's all over.
I've been sick in bed for the past week with a horrible sore throat and just feeling rotten. I finally had enough and went to the doctor today. I have tonsillitis! I've never had that in my life. I did get some antibiotics so hopefully will be feeling much better in the next couple of days.
Spring is really here and also the on again, off again showers. We had a couple of gorgeous sunny days last week - love the sun!
I'm having a garage sale the middle of April so I need to get busy marking things. I have lots of books, magazines, fabric, craft items, vintage dishes, and some vintage furniture pieces that I purchased to refinish. I never got around to them so someone else can take them home for a redo! I'm also selling lots of kitchen items including a vintage blender and a food processor. Hopefully our Illinois Fund will increase in size by the time it's all over.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Spring Is Finally Here!!
It's not officially the first day of Spring but it's arrived in our part of the country! The trees are blooming and there are daffodils everywhere! The bright yellow just makes me so happy and makes me feel good.Steph and I were driving to her doctor's appointment this afternoon and saw a whole bunch of daffodils by the road. I told her that I think God makes them bloom early in Spring so that we can be cheered after a long, gray winter. It's just a taste of things to come and He made it all for our enjoyment!
Friday, February 19, 2010
I Got In!
I got a call from the dental clinic at our church and I got in for an appointment!!! I get my root canal done on March 5th. Praise the Lord!!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Confession
I have been neglecting my blog. I have a confession to make. I've been on Facebook! I've reconnected with old friends from high school, played on FarmVille and Country Life, and enjoyed reading what people are doing in real time. But I've neglected the friends that I have in the blogging world. I am sorry.
Am I giving up on FaceBook? Nope! Am I going to regularly post on my blog again? Sure!
The tooth, or non-tooth since it was pulled, is healing nicely. I can chew on that side again! I'm still trying to get an appointment for the root canal. I had the alarm set on my cell phone to call at 4:58 pm last Thursday. The alarm went off at 4:56. I said to myself "you need to call in 2 minutes" and held the cell phone in my hand to remind myself. At 5:18 I realized I was still holding the phone in my hand and hadn't called! I will try again this Thursday. I have another alarm set on my phone. Now I just need an alarm to remind me the alarm is going to ring so that I can remember to make the call!
It's still raining here. That is normal for a Pacific NW winter when you're on the west side of the mountains. I bet that my rainy, gray winter days don't look too bad to those poor folks who have had feet of snow this winter! The sun is coming later this week and I can't wait. All the rain makes you enjoy every little bit of sun that peaks through the clouds.
Spring is just around the corner!!!!
Am I giving up on FaceBook? Nope! Am I going to regularly post on my blog again? Sure!
The tooth, or non-tooth since it was pulled, is healing nicely. I can chew on that side again! I'm still trying to get an appointment for the root canal. I had the alarm set on my cell phone to call at 4:58 pm last Thursday. The alarm went off at 4:56. I said to myself "you need to call in 2 minutes" and held the cell phone in my hand to remind myself. At 5:18 I realized I was still holding the phone in my hand and hadn't called! I will try again this Thursday. I have another alarm set on my phone. Now I just need an alarm to remind me the alarm is going to ring so that I can remember to make the call!
It's still raining here. That is normal for a Pacific NW winter when you're on the west side of the mountains. I bet that my rainy, gray winter days don't look too bad to those poor folks who have had feet of snow this winter! The sun is coming later this week and I can't wait. All the rain makes you enjoy every little bit of sun that peaks through the clouds.
Spring is just around the corner!!!!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Tooth Update
My broken molar is now gone!! Since that one was hurting the dentist and I decided it was time for me to part company with the tooth. I will call to get in for an appointment and he will do a root canal on the other broken tooth and then I will have to save to have a crown put on. But at least I will be able to keep the tooth.
I can't begin to tell you what a blessing this dentist visit was today. It was absolutely answered prayer. I walked into the clinic and it was like night and day compared to the other place that I had been. Dentists and hygenists in the area volunteer their time and there is no cost to anyone for any service. I had the most wonderful dentist today. He was so kind and so gentle explaining everything as he went along. As he was putting the needle in my gum the hygenist was standing on the other side patting my shoulder. I looked up once and she had her eyes closed and was praying for me!
Opposite the chair I was sitting in there was a picture hanging on the wall. It had been painted and given to the dentist that runs the clinic. It was a picture of a man in a dentist chair, the dentist working in his mouth and standing beside the dentist was Jesus!! It was just so peaceful and serene and I knew that Jesus was right there in that room.
I am having very little pain tonight. It is sore from where I got the shots but not much pain at all. Thank you all so much for your prayers!!! God was making me be patient in this situation and when I waited on His timing it turned out the best!!!
I can't begin to tell you what a blessing this dentist visit was today. It was absolutely answered prayer. I walked into the clinic and it was like night and day compared to the other place that I had been. Dentists and hygenists in the area volunteer their time and there is no cost to anyone for any service. I had the most wonderful dentist today. He was so kind and so gentle explaining everything as he went along. As he was putting the needle in my gum the hygenist was standing on the other side patting my shoulder. I looked up once and she had her eyes closed and was praying for me!
Opposite the chair I was sitting in there was a picture hanging on the wall. It had been painted and given to the dentist that runs the clinic. It was a picture of a man in a dentist chair, the dentist working in his mouth and standing beside the dentist was Jesus!! It was just so peaceful and serene and I knew that Jesus was right there in that room.
I am having very little pain tonight. It is sore from where I got the shots but not much pain at all. Thank you all so much for your prayers!!! God was making me be patient in this situation and when I waited on His timing it turned out the best!!!
Dentist Update
I just had someone comment this morning asking about my dental situation. I still have 2 broken teeth. I have been to one community dental clinic 2 times and nothing was done except to tell me that I needed a root canal/crown on the molar or I could have it pulled. I have decided to have it pulled. I have an appointment there on 2/15 and hopefully they will pull the tooth. This place doesn't seem to want to do much of anything to anyone that goes there but they are happy to collect your $40 fee each time and then tell you that you need to be referred out.
I found out that the church we attend, New Heights, now has a dental clinic. They have had a medical clinic for quite some time which is free to anyone that doesn't have insurance. In order to get an appointment at the dental clinic you have to call in on Thursday from 5 to 6 PM. They only take 4 openings a week as it is a part-time clinic. I have been calling for the last 3 weeks and have been #5 on the list which means I don't get an appointment and have to call again next week. This morning New Heights called me and they had a cancellation!! Praise the Lord!! I am going this morning at 11:15 and they will do a root canal on the broken tooth that is more in the front of my mouth so I won't lose the tooth!! They will put on a temporary crown and I can save the money to get the crown put on in the near future!!
God is good and I so appreciate all your prayers.
I found out that the church we attend, New Heights, now has a dental clinic. They have had a medical clinic for quite some time which is free to anyone that doesn't have insurance. In order to get an appointment at the dental clinic you have to call in on Thursday from 5 to 6 PM. They only take 4 openings a week as it is a part-time clinic. I have been calling for the last 3 weeks and have been #5 on the list which means I don't get an appointment and have to call again next week. This morning New Heights called me and they had a cancellation!! Praise the Lord!! I am going this morning at 11:15 and they will do a root canal on the broken tooth that is more in the front of my mouth so I won't lose the tooth!! They will put on a temporary crown and I can save the money to get the crown put on in the near future!!
God is good and I so appreciate all your prayers.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Busy, Busy, Busy
I have neglected my poor blog! It just seems like things have gotten so busy around here. When I went back to work it was for 2 days a week. The truck repair service where I work has really been hit by the economy over the past year and a half. But we have been praying for the business and it is picking up. So much so that for the last 3 weeks I've been working 3 days instead of 2! That probably won't be permanent but it's nice to have the extra income.
I keep busy chauffeuring my teenager around and being involved in all of her activities. Then there's the house to keep up, soap to make, and the list continues. I suddenly feel like I hardly have time for myself, to write on my blog, or do any of the other things that I like to do. But it's better to be busy than sitting around doing nothing!! I will make time before bed at least once a week to write on my blog and read other blogs.
The rain is back in full force here. I don't know about you, but I'm really ready for Spring. I get excited thinking about planting seeds, flowers, and veggies. I want to have some kind of vegetable garden this year even if it's on my patio. It would be nice to eat from the garden all summer. And I will buy locally in quantity so that I can put up things to enjoy next winter.
My little grand baby is growing and in another 8 weeks we will be able to find out whether it's a boy or a girl. For now, I'm going to knit a white blanket. I have to do something for this little one and can't wait another 8 weeks to get started on a project!! One more thing to add to my busyness!!
I keep busy chauffeuring my teenager around and being involved in all of her activities. Then there's the house to keep up, soap to make, and the list continues. I suddenly feel like I hardly have time for myself, to write on my blog, or do any of the other things that I like to do. But it's better to be busy than sitting around doing nothing!! I will make time before bed at least once a week to write on my blog and read other blogs.
The rain is back in full force here. I don't know about you, but I'm really ready for Spring. I get excited thinking about planting seeds, flowers, and veggies. I want to have some kind of vegetable garden this year even if it's on my patio. It would be nice to eat from the garden all summer. And I will buy locally in quantity so that I can put up things to enjoy next winter.
My little grand baby is growing and in another 8 weeks we will be able to find out whether it's a boy or a girl. For now, I'm going to knit a white blanket. I have to do something for this little one and can't wait another 8 weeks to get started on a project!! One more thing to add to my busyness!!
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