Friday, April 11, 2008

I'm Back!

I have been MIA on my blog for some time and I've missed posting. It just seems like there aren't enough hours in my day to do everything online that I need to. That, and I have to share my computer with my my 14 year old daughter. Sometimes it's 10 before I can get on there and then I'm just too tired to do what needs to be done.
It's been a busy past couple of weeks!! I did a soap sale for the Farmgirls on MaryJanes Farm Forum. Sold lots of soap and actually had to make a couple of batches to finish filling orders. I have all the shipping to do this weekend and then the soap will be on it's way to it's new owners.

A week ago my 20 year old grandson moved in with me. He has been renting a room from a friend who is married and that has not been working out for quite some time. Justin wants to save to get his own apartment and was struggling (like we all are) to get money put away. I prayed about Justin's situation and felt like the Lord was leading me to offer to let him stay with me for 90 days. Did I also mention that he has this cute little 5 month old boxer mix puppy named Echo?
So not only do we have 3 people crowded in a 2 bedroom apartment but we have a puppy too. She is so adorable! But I have to be honest and tell you that she wears me out!! It's like taking care of a toddler! But I'm getting more crazy about her every day. She's just so smart.

I have also been feeling so overwhelmed lately. I overcommitted myself to many online things and projects. I also think that I'm having some delayed emotional feelings about my marriage ending, unresolved anger towards my husband, etc. I've decided I need to narrow down my involvement in things. I had signed up to do the Farmer's Market but realize that I don't have the energy to make a weekly committment to that plus keep up with the soapmaking that would be involved. So I pulled out of that. I also made an appointment to get some counseling.

I have so many feelings of anger and frustration towards my husband for things that he did during our marriage. I need to let go of that. God can, and does, work miracles. I have been praying for His help with my feelings. I feel He is leading me to get an objective party to help me with all of this.

But God is good and Life is good! It's a glorious sunny day here in SW WA! Supposed to be 75 degrees tomorrow and I can't wait. I am going to clean off my porch tomorrow and maybe plant some flowers.

I have to get more soap made. I got some wonderful new scents for Spring that I'm dying to try. Ever heard of Linden? It is wonderful! When Missy had her store we used to sell a brand of soap that had linden in it's line. It was my favorite soap. We have little leaf lindens in the US but the scented linden is a native of France. In the Spring it blossoms and the scent is supposed to be fabulous - never having been to France I'm only going by what I read. It is a common practice for French women to hang their laundry near the tree or lay it on the ground under the tree to pick up the scent of the blossoms. So I'll be soaping that one plus making a linen spray.

I'm off to enjoy the sunshine!


Cora from Nelia's Primitive Place said...

Good morning, Kay! Glad to see you back here! I miss you when you are not posting.

Anger is ok for now. I think it is in that process of grieving a tremendous loss in your life. You have lost a part of you that was supposed to be there "til death do you part!" It's not easy to pick yourself up, brush off all the dirt, and learn to stand and walk and go on on your own two feet. God understands your anger and is ready to walk through the next phase of your life with you. Just remember, you are no less of a person, no less important, no less significant than you were before. God has a plan for you today, tomorrow, and for the rest of your life. I know you are spinning right now, and "moving on" seems like a term that just can't be. But each day will bring that boiling teapot inside you just a little cooler with less and less steam and you will find your place and your happiness again!

I will be praying for you, Kay!

And I LOVE that puppy! I just went through that puppyhood thing with the worst behaved dogs in the whole world. We flunked out of "bad dog school", and only now, after a year, am I seeing any movement towards the word "good." But I love him!!!!!

Love ya,

jayedee said...

i agree with cora, kay. anger is a necessary part of the grieving process and a natural one too!
remember, there are folks out here pulling for you and praying for you!

Darlene said...

Welcome back!

Big hugs from all your friends!

Farm Chick Paula said...

Oh Kay- I've missed you!
I am praying your heart finds peace over everything that has happened in your life.... it sounds like you have plenty of company right now, so you'll be busy for a while!
Take care of YOU, though... ((hugs))

Angela said...

I am so glad that you are seeking someone to talk to. I have been there and did that! I had a lovely Christian man that really helped me sort through my feelings. You are brave!

Lea of Farmhouse*Blessings said...

Just know that I'm praying for you everyday, Kay. Your courage and strength are inspiring. I'm so glad that you are getting a little extra help to get through these challenging times.


GardenGoose said...

sending hugs your way.may you find the strength and peace you desire.Cora said it well.hang in there.